Affairs
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Member
Posts: 62
Location: West Yorkshire
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I wish to speak on this, from experience of having been cheated on and being a cheater.......
2005. big row. did not speak to each other for months. married long long time. computer sat there trying to tellme something, and sure enough, notorious cheaters (and seriously disgusting) website, and membership for one whole year. I joined to find out what his profile said and whew. his picture, in underwear, "my wife does not understand me". LOL. Of course, me being a member start receiving loads and I mean LOADS of mail from desperate, "sex starved males" and these messages are very explicit. One message was very down to earth and hit a nerve with me, we became good friends. and we still are although we have never met. The moral to this story? not sure there is one, there is more to be told but, the internet is there, good or bad. Men will use it to their own ends, and women too. the issue is trust, not a lot about and I stay with the man who still deceives me, disrespects me and is not nice to me, because its all I have. |
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Member
Posts: 276
Location: West Yorkshire
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It is a shame it happens, after being in a relationship for a long time it must be hard to leave it even if you know things are not right.
It is true both men and women play away. A friend of mine only stayed with her husband because of their children. He never cheated but wasn't loving, although my friend didn't cheat either I saw her flirt with younger guys and act like a teenager due to it. Another friends wife had cheated on him throughout all of their relationship and had the guts to tell him, after 10years it got too much for her. My friend went through hell, I saw the state he was in and wouldn't wish it on anyone. |
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Member
Posts: 225
Location: Pembrokeshire
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How can you have a name like that with such adorable principles - oh how I wish I was married to someone like you!!!! |
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Member
Posts: 1
Location: London South West
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hey, ive been in that situation before. its soo much easier giving a friend advice to leave their partner then to take your own advice, when it happens to you .
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Member
Posts: 69
Location: West Midlands
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Hey Joss, just seen the post. Thanks for the compliment. Easy answer though - my username is in reference to my love of the tv show Family Guy. And, as for my principles - I have seen what it can do to people and I would hate to think that my actions could hurt someone so much. |
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Member
Posts: 225
Location: Pembrokeshire
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 Mandy, or anyone else for that matter ...... how do you define 'love'? How is it possible to still love someone who, after a lifetime together, not only cheats on you physically & mentally but must surely have such total disrespect for you that they are prepared to lie & deceive in order to have their cake & eat it, i.e. married life equates to comfort & security, whilst the affair equates to a buzz. 
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Member
Posts: 106
Location: Staffordshire
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Mandy,
Everyone is human and we all make mistakes, only you will be able to tell if he is worth giving a second chance to. If you still love him then would you be able to walk away from your marriage, after all these years, without always thinking "what if". Be selfish and do what feels right for you I'm sure all your friends and family will be there for you what ever happens. Good Luck in whatever you decide! Tracey |
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Member
Posts: 2
Location: Leicestershire
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I didnt realise there was a problem with my marriage only when I found her text to him .so I still love him with all my heart .. Things have changed since I found out .we now both walk on egg shells and that's the hard thing ,
And I don't know what I want any more every day changes so it's not easy |
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Member
Posts: 17
Location: London South West
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Hey mandy1234567, play it cool, lean back, observe and digest. Don't jump without some strategic thinking. If you were to say "I know exactly what you are doing and I want you to stop it", then how are you going to react if he doesn't? If you do not have some consequence lined up, then you are practically letting it continue, as if nothing would happen. He'd feel endorsed. You may not feel that the time is right to shake a fist at him and threaten outcomes. If he's not aware that you are aware then he'll at least continue quietly and not openly and you have time to put your best solution together.
Hope things have improved for you meanwhile. |
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Member
Posts: 19
Location: Rest of World
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I am 43 and life has tought me that you have to look out for yourself as sadly people is deciteful.
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Member
Posts: 2
Location: Leicestershire
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I confronted him and he says he is glad iv found out as that what she kept him there with hat she would tell me it's took time but were back on track I hope I never be sure but I always will try I feel better with myself and him he so different and things have changed so much ,I think saying it in here helped me cope
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Member
Posts: 149
Location: Isle of Man
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Having witnessed and helped a friend through a break up 11 years of marriage no children they return from a holiday on the friday which they had sex and she thought a loving relationship he tells her on the saturday he has met someone else and is moving out. My friend had no idea and was heart broken but looking back she nows sees the cracks as you say the endless texts etc. She has faced such stress finacially and emotionally with him even coming to her to "talk about his relationship" which ended as she was violent ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Then flaunted another relationship in her face and had the gall to tell her he hadnt loved her for a while. rat hit a girl when shes down why dont you. She wanted to end their marriage but the cost has stopped that £8,000 and now the latest quite out of character she has just been done for drink driving something there is no excuse for but personal stress can do so much damage >_
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Member
Posts: 183
Location: Hampshire
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Maybe just a little off the main topic, but it can be quite a simple matter to progress divorce proceedings very cheaply (no more than a couple of hundred pounds at most) if one is prepared to research, and complete the paperwork oneself. |
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Moderator
Posts: 1044
Location: Surrey
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JUST A CHERISHING THOUGHT ON WHOM HAS CHEATED ON THERE PARTNERS ?...[FEMALES] AS WELL AS MALES? I HASTEN TO SAY..MY OPTIONS IN THIS GIVEN MATTER WOULD BE 2 FOLD..[1] ARE CONFRONTING HIM OR HER ON THIS BE HAVIOUR. IF NOT WHY? [2]ARE YOU PREPARED TO PUT THE WORK IN TO MOVE ON? I.E. ACTION? ITS NOT EASY ONE MOCKY HOWEVER TO MOVE ON GIVEN YOUR PRESENT SITUATION HOWEVER I ADMIRE THE FACT YOU HAVE NOT ACTED OUT AND DONE THE SAME.2 WRONGS DONT MAKE A RIGHT WELL DONE HANG IN THERE SOMETHINKS GOTTA GIVE
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Member
Posts: 4
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It takes two!
Wer'e not hearing the other side? Theres no black and white in these situations A lot of grey and heartache! But maybe for the best in the longrun! Look to the future! X |
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