What makes for a good friendship/relationship?
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Member
Posts: 170
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Hmm,
I don't agree at all with part of your statement about looking and recognising a friend. |
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Member
Posts: 10
Location: Lancashire
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I think any friendship between too people even if they have not much in common needs time, patient and commitment. Sometimes 2 people just click and become easily friends. Hovewer this friendship may last long but could break as fast as it developed. Sometimes 2 people needs time and trust to let the other close, which creates a stronger bond and could survive all the changes and difficulties. Nothings and no one stays the same.... its how life works.
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Member
Posts: 179
Location: Cumbria
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This does happen occasionally, and it's great when it does. When two personalities just gel, and you just know you're going to get on with that person. A bit more difficult online though, as for me anyway; I have to be in a person's prescence for my instincts to tell me if I'm going to get on with said person.This is not to say some friendships can't develop over time. 
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Member
Posts: 276
Location: West Yorkshire
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Guess its different for everyone and that's why I would partly agree that you can tell by the way they look. Feel that works for some, if someone has a cheeky smile I may assume we are on the same wavelength but doesn't always work.
Things online are different not as clear cut. Find making friends can be very different and not what you may expect. One of my best mates I met two years ago, she wanted Piano lessons, only had the one because we both came to a mutual agreement, we clicked had loads in common so we became friends, easy. On the other hand I met a woman during work who was very shy and quiet and it was down to the fact we had mutual friends that we spoke, now she is one of my best friends but we don't actually have much in common but share the same sense of humour. Think having too much in common can be a bad thing, last year met a guy who wanted to do some recording and jam nights. He was a lovely guy but all we had in common was Music, yes it is a massive subject but found we were repeating ourselves and it got boring. I tried talking about other stuff but it didn't work! A good friend would go out of their way to help you and get the same back in return. I missed the last train once and waited for the first train the next morning which was a silly thing to do when another mate said I could have called her and she would have picked me up. Maybe bad on my part but sometimes not sure how far you can push your friendship, it was 12.30am and I was 50miles away and we hadn't been friends a long time! Sense of humour is important, if someone gets you and is on your wavelength its pretty natural. Sorry I am waffling! |
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Member
Posts: 41
Location: Cornwall
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I have had the great fortune to have met up with people who came into my life and have remained there. Over my fifty odd years they can be counted on one hand.
Though not near they are still there with whats needed to get us through lifes traumas. And in turn unconditionally I am there for them. Though I admit they are more there for me at the moment! One friend is a man who many years ago I would not have let into my life, he didn't dress well, he looked, quite literally, like a down and out santa! But when my family were suffering(long story), and were, and still are, cut off from our roots, this rotund recovered alcoholic who occasionally dined at the local soup kitchen, was a gaurdian angel who came quite out of the blue. He put back the kitchen that my poorly husband destroyed and abandoned(another long story), for five months no hot water, no cooker, no sink. He did it all for nothing. He had the least to give out of all the people around, and he gave the most, both in emotional support and in getting the family home up and running. He gave my children good sound sensible advice, and was also a friend to my troubled husband. I will never be able to repay him, but I'll always be his friend to the day I die. There are a few people from my teens, and from my nursing days, who without them, I'd be broken. Not near, but just there. And I would be there for them. And all of them are so different in outlook, social standing etc. yet they all have one thing in commom, the love of being there for others, and I include myself in that statement. Just being there to listen, make light of our setbacks, and having a laugh at our own expense.... Nothing like it... The other true friend that I have made here since 2007, will be going back to the north soon, she too came along when my 'santa friend' was sent. But I will always be her friend. More like a sister than my own kin. They have taught me a valuable lesson, that I had become judgemental. Friendship is there, even when you feel there is no common ground. We just have to stop expecting things from people, forget the 'quid pro quo'. When you do something for someone, don't do it for what you might recieve in return, just do it because it's the right thing to do. Those handful of people will alway have my love and respect! Before I wrote this, I didn't realise just how lucky I was. Even though not near to my friends, they are still there. Sorry for the long post peeps. Therapy!!! 
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Member
Posts: 41
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trust loyalty communication and compromise x
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Member
Posts: 3
Location: Berkshire
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I agree with No Longer A Member, trust is a must, loyalty is essential, open communication from both sides and not afraid to speak your mind to that friend.
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Posts: 8
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Hi - I think the best kind of friendship occurs when two people that are already happy within themselves meet. This way round there is no pressure, such as "i am only happy when i am with you", or "i can't live without you", etc
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Member
Posts: 41
Location: Cornwall
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Couldn't agree more Johnstefan, your happiness has to come from you first, and then you share it with others who in turn won't drain it from you. I'm still learning the art!!
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Member
Posts: 276
Location: West Yorkshire
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When you can act like a prat and you don't care, be silly, stupid act like a clown but then be able to be serious when necessary.
This post has made me do a lot of thinking about friends that I have lost touch with, why??? I made an effort to stay in touch with Andy, Beth, Amy and Joe but not sure what happened I didn't do anything wrong I tried to keep in touch but you all slowly drifting into your new lives. Your loss people, you just don't know it yet and may never realize! |
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