Loneliness........?
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Member
Posts: 62
Location: West Yorkshire
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I am a married 40 something with children (grown and growing up), who has a fulfilling and enjoyable job. Some close friends but not as much contact as I would like.
So why do I feel entirely lonely? Every day it feels worse.......and it does not help that (because I work outdoors) I am alone most of my working day with a long drive commute. Would like to know whether any other members feel the same say and whether it is a common thing this.......because it's driving me mad! Why does there seem to be this need to be sociable anyway....... all your thoughts please. |
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Member
Posts: 23
Location: Gloucestershire
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hi teeny
Yes i feel the same so often ,, what can we do about it ? By the way I will reply to your mail barb |
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Moderator
Posts: 1044
Location: Surrey
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i wish you happiness in the near future and all things must pass
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Member
Posts: 1
Location: Hampshire
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hi I too am desperately lonely i dont know why we need other people in our lives so much but even when you are with others this lonely feeling still grips if you find out how to shake it please let me know p
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Member
Posts: 14
Location: Cardiff
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We are social by nature - not having the opportunity to really connect with other people can leave us feeling lonely. I absolutely know how you feel x
I moved to Wales 7 years ago and pretty quickly met my now fiance. Since then my oldest daughters have grown up and moved back home to Kent, we have a toddler and I quit work to stay at home with her. I dont know anyone here - well a handful of people but no-one I would consider a close friend. I spend most days trying to fill the time with fun things for my young daughter and I am on the whole very happy - just so damn bored and lonely! But thats why we're here right?  Jax x |
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Member
Posts: 1
Location: Highlands and Islands
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I get lonely as i have no family around and live in a very close-knit community and i am such a friendly person yet dont get the chance so i use my time up doing art and crafts
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Member
Posts: 6
Location: Wiltshire
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I know how you feel, im 55 I am married and have children (grown) I was working as a carer but their needs changed and i could not live in so i had to leave.
Now no job, my youngest left the area, and 24/7 with my husband I love him I dont want anyone else, I talk to my children most days.I have lots of holidays and want for nothing really. But I am so lonely I have nothing to talk to hubby about cos he is always there (he is retired) I think it is more to do with the kids growing up, mums out live usefulness for a short time, we need to "reinvent" as the saying goes. well i think that is what i need to do! good luck. Take care Elaine x |
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Member
Posts: 62
Location: West Yorkshire
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I want to thank everyone for your kind comments and suggestions. I agree we as human beings do feel the need to connect but, most of my problem is I think that I continuously feel that everyone else is having a much better social time than me and this is annoying.
It seems to me that the way people live their lives in some way exacerbates the issue and I am no exception. working hard makes you tired and less inclined to make contact with others. We are all on here to make new friends and acquaintances so I for one intend to make a big effort. Please if you receive an email from someone, make your own effort to reply, however brief, as the other person is reaching out. Teenyweeny. X |
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Member
Posts: 41
Location: Cornwall
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Just to say hi! In my experience it's normal to feel periods when we feel more 'alone'. I moved to Cornwall 9 years ago, and have met a lot of people here, but only two people who I can really call a close friends.
I have just come out of a marriage that lasted 25 years, my family live in Manchester, and my children are 21 and 17. I also have a couple of other true friends who live in Manchester,NOT NEAR ENOUGH! and yes I have recently felt alone. I am in a full time job which is not that demanding, but it is freeing, in that I get all school hols off, and I don't start until 11am and finishes at 6pm, and I'm home in ten mins. Not great wages, but I get by. Through all that, and going through complicated divorce, I do still have a laugh, and there are days when I feel quite upbeat. The reason I joined this site it to just talk to other people and find out who's out there, we do need contact with others from time to time, and although I do like my own company, I also like to hear from other folk, it just makes you realise we are all in the same boat, and just as sure as we have downs, we can have a few high points too. Take care and just know that what you are feeling happens to us all, just talk it out with others, and it does help. Stay Strong Treez x |
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Member
Posts: 78
Location: Lincolnshire
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I don't look upon myself as being lonely, but I am certainly alone since the passing of my husband last year. I have contact with family and friends but I have recently taken the iniative to get out and about as finances allow. I have been to the theatre, had a look at joining the local WI and also a choir.
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Member
Posts: 49
Location: South Yorkshire
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I read this today on a site I go to for inspirational quotes
' Spending quality time with friends and loved ones strengthens our sense of interconnectedness and belonging. Whether we enjoy a relaxing afternoon of fun and laughter or focus our energies into a gathering with a defined purpose, the time we spend with like-minded people helps us feel more connected with humanity. Knowing that we can share our joy, struggles, and aspirations with a network of supportive people and provide the same support and encouragement to them gives us a sense of belonging and connection. This helps us feel less overwhelmed by difficulties and more confident about pursuing our dreams. With a little creative thinking, you can come up with endless ways to strengthen the connections you share with friends and loved ones today. ' All I can say at the moment is ' the chance would be nice' |
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Member
Posts: 169
Location: Merseyside
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Hi all,
Loving the quote and could echo different things people have said about interconnectedness and wanting that. I tend to find some of my friends are married/with partner/have children, and so don't particularly want/need to socialise in the same way I want to. Other people I meet through various things tend to already have a network of friends and are not inclined to be open to the idea of new friends. Other single friends tend to be looking for a partner and not interested in activities that don't pertain to that, or want you to be said partner, which I'm not convinced (and particularly hearing some of what you have said) is the answer. I have tried different things - joining social websites with activities to meet new people, being more friendly or less friendly with those around me, voluntary work... I'm not sure of the answer, but I don't seem to be finding it. I'm reading a book about love and it talks about the physical/biological need for human contact. That as adults we get better at managing it (babies without human contact become unwell and it has a very physical effect on their health), but we don't actually stop needing it. Teeny, I hear what you're saying about everyone else, and it sometimes seems that way to me too. I don't find that I am all that comfortable with the same kinds of social activities others like. I don't like going out clubbing it, I like geeky things like reading and films which are not so much social things to do! Anyways, I don't have a conclusion or a solution, but I can relate to a lot of what has been said. |
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Member
Posts: 5
Location: West Yorkshire
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i agree about loneliness i have no family moved 4 years ago no this site is a godsend when i first got internet not long after moving t through choice have tried so hard to make friends but no joy at least i like the area where i am now but where do the people go to socialise lol this site is a godsend when i first got on the internet not all that long ago i found myself in a chatroom id asked the internet for friends it was quite scary but this site very good
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Member
Posts: 5
Location: West Midlands
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let me start with this quote
This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. George Bernard Shaw I used to be very depressed, but now i do not wait for life to happen to me, i happen to life. I use this site to make friends and then talk on the phone or meet up and enrich our lives. I get involved with things and keep my self occupied with things i really enjoy. I think when you talk about your issues face to face and deal with them, you get better results. be open and honest with your friends, show love, trust and care. help each other and we can all enrich each others life. THis has helped me in life, i hope it will help you too |
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Member
Posts: 49
Location: South Yorkshire
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' be open and honest with your friends, show love, trust and care. help each other and we can all enrich each others life.'
What if there are no friends in your life ? Even though you try to connect with people through classes / clubs and sites like this........ |
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