Fishing For A Friend

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Coping with loss is something we all do in our own way. Some feel the need to integrate into the world as soon as they can, others need to hide away until the rawness abates. Even knowing that you are going to lose a loved one, allowing you to plan for it, doesn't really help when the end finally comes. We all like to think there may be a glimmer of hope somewhere, even if inside we know there isn't. I had to cope with the sudden death of my husband when he was 29 and I was 25 with two small boys. They helped me through, I had to get through each day for them. I lost all my family in a period of a few years, the closest within weeks of each other. I had to cope with emotions I thought I would never be able to cope with, but we have hidden resources that come to our aid at times of need. We are strong women who can, and do, cope.
I would say to you that I empathise so very much, this is an especially hard time of year to be in your position when all around you seem to be enjoying life, you feel your loss even more keenly, and the 'why me? why him?' feelings come to the surface a lot. Allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself time. Deal with it in the way your inner self is telling you, guiding you. What may be right for one person, may be totally wrong for another, only you know what is right for you.
I send you my sincerest best wishes.

My heart goes out to all of you who are bereaved.
I lost my brother on Christmas Day 1972 aged 32, so this time of year is not a happy time for me. My parents have passed too, and altho Im married with grandchildren, I often feel alone in my grief.
God Bless you all. Keep smiling if you can. Sue x

yes we take a step forward but theres times when you fall behind but you then pick yourself up to fight another day...

I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and the day before that too
I think of you in many ways I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part
I will never ever forget you as you’re always in my heart.

You are all such wonderful, warm & kind people. My grief isn't new, but the anger & pain is still so very raw. I am getting there, in my own way. Your kind words mean the world to me Thank you all.... X

I lost my husband 11 years ago to depression. I sometimes get a glance of what he used to be, but most of the time he just shuts me and our son and daughter out of his world. But sometimes the sun does shine and we see what he really is a caring and loving husband and father and we as a family are thankful for these times and make the most of them. I know that it is not the same as loosing a loved one but we as a family grieve for the husband and father that used to be and that is no longer with us.
Thanks for the poem it does say it all

Do not shed tears when I have gone
but smile instead because I have lived.

Do not shut your eyes and p0ray to God that I'll come back
but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.

I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me
but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened between us yesterday.

You can remember me and grieve that I have gone or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and lose yourself become distraught
and turn your back on the world
or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears,
learn to love again and go on.

This was actually wrote about a lover losing his love to someone else, but some how it feels appropriate when someone you love passes away.

Love to everyone suffering the loss of their loved ones. Heroes one and all.

And smileymo, I know where your at. My husband suffers with bi polar, and related symptoms. The man I knew as a husband and dad, gone forever....it's a difficult one.